When I was 8 years old, I tied a bottle rocket to the tail of my neighbor’s cat and lit it. I was very pleased when the cat went flying down the street, a trail of smoke streaming out behind it. Unfortunately, the cat landed on the head of a Roman Catholic priest who was out mowing his lawn. The priest had a mild heart attack, but he survived. I know this was wrong, but it happened. I’m human. I regret it. I thought you should know.
Tags: Cat, Confession, David Paterson, Governor, New York, Priest, Regret
April 3, 2008 at 2:07 am
Dear DP —
I really respect that you’ve come forward with this gruesome confession, but I have to say, as a card-carrying member of PETA, I think what you did to that innocent cat was just HORRID. Couldn’t you have found any other shenanigans to pull?
Best,
PETA Pocket