Today’s confession is NOT about tax evasion. I do pay my taxes, although I don’t tell the IRS about the money I make from the OTB facility I run out of my living room. Today’s confession deals with another, equally important topic: aliens. Let’s just say that a certain Ohio congressman with the initials D.K. ain’t the only one who’s spent quality time with non-Earth natives. And I got news for you — they ARE little and green with antennas. Remember Kazoo — the guy who used to hang out with Fred Flintstone? He’s based on a real-life character. Poignant story, too. Anyway, the point is, don’t be so quick to point the finger. Just because YOU’VE never seen them doesn’t mean NO ONE has.
Tags: alien, Governor, humor, kazoo, kucinich, ohio, otb, Paterson
April 15, 2008 at 5:27 pm
Dear Governor Paterson,
How did you know that I spend a lot of my time with little green men? I thought my private business was my private business. Are you telling me that I, too, am under surveillance, just the like the rest of the fashion world? Well, if so, then so be it, but please do not expect me to pay any taxes into your coffers. My business is 100% sheltered in the Cayman Islands, where I spend time with quite a few not-so-little, not-so-green men as well. And let me tell you, I have seen them.
Yours truly, Donna
PS. I am NOT in any way, shape or form an Ohio Congressman. Where on Earth did you get such a silly idea!
April 15, 2008 at 11:53 pm
Donna, I LOVE your lines. Would you be interested in dressing me for my divorce proceedings?! Best, Silly Sil Sil
April 16, 2008 at 12:08 pm
Hey, Donna, if you’re thinking of muscling in on my Close Encounters, think again. Stick to the runway. I’ll handle the landing strip. When it comes to making contact with the extraterrestrials, America needs strong, honest leadership and not a lot of fancy double speak from neo-cons and glorified seamstresses. That’s why I’m running for president of Mars. I will see you on the campaign trail . . . which should be following the jetstream of Space Shuttle Atlantis, if my campaign manager/navigator has calculated correctly.
By the way, Silda, I’m starting my own line of women’s clothes based on those aluminum suits from Lost in Space. You will look fabulous. Spitz will be kicking himself. Give me a call. I’ll suit you up, babe. No charge.
-DK from Outerspace
April 16, 2008 at 8:14 pm
Dear Other DK —
I now license my designs. Would you like to be the official manufacturer in space?