Did you hear about Allan Kieta the legally blind dude in Indiana who took down an intruder and held him at knife point until the police came to arrest him? Props to you, my man, Allan. That’s all I want to say. I tried that once. Tripped right over this guy who had somehow found his way into my front hall. I beat the holy hell out of him. Wham, bam, thank you, Uncle Sam. The neighbors heard the scuffle — heard that sucker crying for help as I rained blows down upon him — and came over to break us up. I was stoked. I was clucking and crowing like Ali. Never felt so alive. Rock and roll. If you’ve never beaten the stuffing out of a bad guy, I cannot recommend it highly enough. It does wonders for your mojo. A guy could ride that wave right into the governor’s mansion. Whoop, der it is! . . . . . . The guy I clobbered? Yeah, unfortunately, he turned out to be from the electric company. He’d come to read the meter. Nevertheless . . . But double props to you my main man, Allan Kieta, for taking that bad dude down, and for him being, in fact, a bad dude. Probably.
Tags: Governor, New York, Paterson, Albany, David, Allan, Kieta, blind, knife, Ali, scuffle, clobber, intruder, police
