Vlad Putin — “Vlad,” that’s what W. and I call him — and I are going into business together. I probably shouldn’t say anything about it at this point, because we’re still talking to venture communists. But I want to appease those who fear Vlad will still be wearing the pants in the Kremlin, even after Medvedev’s swearing in. He’ll play a role, of course. But he’ll be far too busy to wreak havoc on the progress Russia has thus far made. What kind of business endeavor could a blind, African-American, Democratic governor and a former KGB leader who still greets people as “comrades” possibly undertake together? That’s a valid question. And one I can answer, but then I’d have to kill you, and I’d rather not. Let’s just say that it has to do with an up-to-the-nanosecond technological breakthrough that could provide stalkers, voyeurs, spies, secret agents, double agents, journalists and nosy neighbors alike with unprecedented views of their subjects’ homes, offices and internal organs. Will it be called KG-See? Maybe. Maybe nyet. But I will tell you that my uncanny resourcefulness and ability to overcome obstacles combined with Vlad’s security background and dominant nature will produce an alliance stronger than the finest Siberian vodka.
Tags: David Paterson, Governor, humor, KGB, Medvedev, New York, Putin, Russia
